Performance Appraisals A Workshop for Teams
by PaperHat
Summary: Inspired by the Sexual Harrasment Briefing clip from 'Driven'. The team have to attend a workshop about appraisals. There will be six chapters. There are some naughty words in it, so be warned. Last chapter now up.
1. PreCourse Work

Performance Appraisals: A Workshop for Teams

CHAPTER ONE – Pre-Course Work

"Aw come on Jen, do we have to?"

Jenny Shepherd folded her arms across her chest defiantly and matched the stare of her petulant team leader,

"Yes Jethro, get your team and get to the training centre asap"

Gibbs opened his mouth to protest,

"And not another word on the subject! As Director I'm giving you and your team a direct order!"

Gibbs frowned, exhaled and then spun round without a word and left the office.

As the door opened Tony slipped off Cynthia's desk,

"All fixed boss?" he beamed

"With me...to the training centre"

There were groans which silenced immediately as Gibbs stopped, turned and stared.

As eyes found the floor and little nervous coughs escaped, Gibbs turned back and led the way down the stairs and towards the elevator.

"Man, this sucks, why do we have to do this? I mean two hours stuck in a training room listening to some goody two shoes mouthing off about performance appraisals. I mean what's the point, we go into the room, we sit till our butts are numb, we come back out and then carry on as if nothing's happened, it's a waste of time, there is really no point. I think we should...OW!"

McGee rubbed his head.

"I think you should shut the hell up!" Gibbs barked

"Sorry boss...shutting up...now...boss"

The air was tense in the elevator.

Ziva sighed and re-read her course invitation.

"Performance Appraisal, a workshop for teams, duration two hours"

As she frowned, she nudged McGee,

"Tim, what is that?" she asked pointing to the piece of paper.

"Role-play"

Tony rolled his eyes and groaned.

"It's another word for nightmare" McGee added.

Gibbs closed his eyes momentarily. It was going to be a long morning.


	2. Welcome, Introductions and Domestics

_**A/N: Swear word in here.**_

* * *

Gibbs opened the door of the training room and held it open as McGee, Tony and Ziva filed in. They found that Ducky, Abby and Jimmy were already there and sitting quietly in the semi circle of chairs.

"Good morning, my name is Baxter, welcome, welcome, please take a seat and make yourselves comfortable"

"Did he say his name was bastard?" Tony whispered to Ziva

"Yes, very strange" she replied equally quietly.

They all sat down and Baxter made a mental count of the number of people in the room before turning and beaming a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Ok people, could you please put your name on the blue card beneath your seat card and place it in front of you, and your real names please, not the ones you would like to have like...uhm... Brittney or Ramone or Frank or...heaven forbid Leroy"

Baxter shook his head slightly and began handing out marker pens and the team started writing up their name cards.

"Well, welcome everyone again...my name is Baxter Murray and I'm going to be your facilitator for this morning's Performance Appraisal Workshop. I'm very glad to be with you today and I know we have a lot of ground to cover, but I'm sure that we will all get along fine and learn from each other. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call out. I'm going to go through this morning's program but before that I'd like to learn a little more about you guys, what performance appraisals mean to you and what you would like to take from our time here today"

Tony mouthed "Baxter" to Ziva and then yawned. Baxter threw him a glare and began to pout.

"Special Agent...Gibbs...would you like to go first?"

"No"

"No?"

"You deaf as well as annoying?"

Baxter's eyes went wide and he gulped nervously under the steely gaze before him, before he shifted in his chair. They didn't have students like that in his Training for Trainers class.

"Dr Mallard, would you like to go first?"

"Certainly dear boy, and please call me Ducky, everyone does, it goes back to my earlier days at Eton, where it was a take on my surname. To answer your question about performance appraisals, I think its all part of being an excellent leader and motivator. Now take Napoleon for example, most people remember him for his dalliances with Josephine, but few really understand what an effective leader he was, as for performance appraisals..."

"Thank you, thank you doctor, I think we get the essence of your...uhm...take on appraisals"

Abby couldn't help but snigger and then raised her hand,

"Yes...Abby...you don't need to raise your hand dear...just call out when ever you feel the need"

"I don't have Tourettes, I just want to go next" Abby said sarcastically.

"My name is Abby and I hate performance appraisals"

Baxter inhaled deeply and then his trade mark sickly beam spread across his face,

"Thank you Abby, that's ok, honey it is alright to say you hate performance appraisals, but together after our little session this morning, hopefully, we as a group can change your mind and win you over!"

"Ya think?" she snapped, causing McGee and Tony to snigger out loud.

Gibbs swiped his notepad across the back of Tim and Tony's head,

"Hey! What was that for?" Tony grimaced

He got his usual answer. Silence.

Baxter said nothing and made a mental note to discuss how to get more tips on dealing with violence in the training room at his next professional conference for training facilitators.

"Tony...would you like to go next"

McGee muttered very quietly under his breath so only Tony could hear, "Tony, please don't do it"

Looking at McGee in the corner of his eye, he grinned,

"My name is Tony and I'm an alcoho..."

A glance to his other side changed his mind,

"...hol...loving person who also thinks performance appraisals are really...cool"

Baxter clapped his hands, "hurrah..a champion, thank you Tony!"

Tony swallowed hard as he could still feel Gibb's eyes on him and the notebook twitching in his hand.

"Ok, who is next?" Baxter said, smiling coyly at Ziva and still avoiding all eye contact with Gibbs.

Jimmy and Ziva introduced themselves and agreed that they had similar opinions on appraisals. Baxter swallowed hard and then took a deep breath, put on his best smile and faced Gibbs,

"So Agent Gibbs, how do you feel about appraisals?"

"They are an essential facet of good teamwork, you can't help someone, if you don't tell 'em where they make their mistakes. You gotta tell your team when they do a good job and when they screw up so they know what to do better the next time"

Baxter's jaw dropped, and there was silence.

"Excellent...th..thank...you...Agent Gibbs"

Dazed at Gibb's eloquent summary of the importance of appraisals, Baxter decided to move on.

"Despite us all having mixed feelings about appraisals, I think we are all agreed that they are very much part of how we manage people here at NCIS, so it's important that we get it right. This morning we are going to look firstly at why it's important to do appraisals, then we are going to discuss how you can get the most out of your appraisals. Then we will have a fun time looking at some of the techniques surrounding appraisals and then finally a chance to really capture what we are going to take from our session here today"

Abby raised her hand.

"Can I take my name card from the session today, that shade of blue card is exactly the shade I want for my aromatherapy closet and you know there is a store where I go to for all my DIY stuff and they have this big mixing machine and they'll be able to match that color. It's so cool!"

Baxter sighed and nodded in agreement. It was indeed going to be a long morning.


	3. The Importance of Appraisals

A/N If this is boring it's meant to be. Courses on performance and people management are boring. Trust me I've presented them.

* * *

Baxter stood confidently at the flipchart and swished the first page over and wrote at the top with a thick blue marker pen 'WHY IS IT IMPORTANT'. Turning to the sea of frowning faces, he inhaled deeply and began, 

"Shout out your answers people, why are good appraisals important?"

There was silence for a few moments before McGee coughed nervously,

"Uhm…because they are mandatory?"

Baxter nodded and wrote the word 'MANDATORY' on the flip chart.

"Thank you Agent McGee, yes that is correct, anyone care to offer any other reasons?"

With the deafening silence rolling on, Baxter eyed the group and stalked his prey ready for the kill,

"Jimmy, what do you think?"

"Well…uh…I guess they are important cos if I do really well I can get promoted".

There was a chorus of faint sniggers around the room. Ducky rolled his eyes at his young protégé and then tapped his shoulder gently,

"All in good time Mr Palmer, all in good time, perhaps we can work on your punctuality first of all before we consider you for the responsibility of handling your own autopsies, and crucially, you might want to finish medical school first mmm?"

Tony eyed Jimmy with sarcastic concern, "Yeah Jimmy, that's kinda critical, I know it's a bummer and all to career advancement by needing to have a medical degree to become a medical examiner, but I do believe they are sticklers for that...it's kinda like being a Marine and not going through bootcamp first or...uhm...being a priest and still seeing your ex-girlfriend for se...OWWW!"

Tony yelped loudly as the notebook collided with his head yet again, "Boss, that is really beginning to smart!" he wailed as he rubbed his head.

All it took was a raised eyebrow and Tony shut up and sank deeper down in his chair and quietly started doodling in his notebook. Jimmy smiled weakly and Baxter wrote up the word 'PROMOTION' on the flipchart and commented that indeed appraisals were important in the promotion process within NCIS. With nothing else forthcoming, he pushed a little further,

"Focus people, if I could re-frame the question for you; why do we have appraisals?"

As he doodled, Tony, without raising his eyes quietly spoke, "To keep all the little tight ass human resources gremlins in a job"

As he looked up, he could feel everyone's eyes burning on him. He glanced quickly at Gibbs and was relieved to see him smirking,

"I mean…that…you would be out of a job Baxter... if we didn't have all this crap to do….right?"

Baxter sucked in his cheeks in defiance, looked smug and placed his hands on his hips, "actually... I'm...freelance" he said slowly and deliberately, eager to make his point.

"Well actually, my name is Tony not Lance and I'm afraid I'm not your type and now is not the time or the place for that kind of proposition" came back the quick stone-faced response, leaving Baxter open mouthed and speechless.

Through the muffled giggles, Baxter closed his eyes and took another deep breath,

"Agent Gibbs, you had some very good points about appraisals earlier on, could you perhaps expand on that for us, particularly focussing on why appraisals are important"

Gibbs stared hard,

"No"

Baxter gulped, "no?"

Gibbs let him squirm for a few seconds more, "I do not….repeat myself"

It was at that point Baxter secretly wished that alien abduction was real, that ET would come and take him now, that very second or that he had taken his mom's advice to go work with Uncle Harry in the boutique.

Abby, broke the silence, "you see Baxman, Gibbs is a kinda…you know…snooze you loose kinda guy, you gotta keep alert with the bossman"

Gibbs smiled sweetly and Baxter took a sip of water as he furiously planned his next move in his head.

"Ok, people, good job and well done to those who contributed, so let's just summarise what we have here"

He then proceeded to waffle for ten minutes paraphrasing from his notes and generally letting his mouth fill the silence and attempt to lighten the atmosphere. He cringed as he finished up,

"Has anyone got any questions or feelings they wanna share right now?"

Tony raised his hand cautiously,

"Do we get free coffee and donuts on this course?"

In the training centre, the resounding slap of a notebook being whacked across a human head and a strangled yelp rang out loudly.

"Probie! Swap seats! Please!"


	4. Getting the Most of Appraisals

a/n Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I hope you like the next installment.

* * *

"Time to get you working" Baxter beamed as he found a renewed sense of vigour and energy moving on to the next session.

"I'd like to split you all up into two groups and give you a question to concentrate on. Now, what I'd like you to do people, is discuss your response and then write up some comments on the flip chart and then if you can decide who is going to deliver the presentation when we all come back together again that would be absolutely fabulous"

Ziva gave a huge sigh, which attracted Tony's attention and he winked suspiciously at her and gave her the thumbs up. She responded by sticking her tongue out which only made Gibbs frown.

"Ok…group one is Dr Ma…Ducky….Agent Gibbs, Tony and Abby and group two is Ziva, Jimmy and Tim and your question is, 'what are the key components of a good appraisal'…as you can see I've written it up on the flip-chart here for you. Now I would suggest as you have all been working so hard that we incorporate your discussion with a little coffee and comfort break"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at the mention of coffee and breathed a sigh of relief as Baxter continued,

"So get yourself a free coffee or juice and then get your minds on that treadmill of creative though people and share, share, share those ideas with your co-workers and let's gather back together in thirty minutes"

Right on cue, Stan, from the cafeteria knocked on the door and wheeled in a small trolley with some bottled fruit juice and a big carafe of coffee and NCIS mugs.

Gibbs was on his feet, "I'm going for coffee"

Baxter danced excitedly, "Agent Gibbs, there's free coffee here?"

"That's not coffee" he snarled in response as he made his way out of the door.

Tony and Ziva nabbed a bottle of juice and headed out into the corridor behind Ziva and Ducky who had gone to stretch their legs.

"So Zee-vah! What do you think of your day so far?"

Ziva pouted, "Dull, pointless, condescending and fertile, a little like you Tony"

Tony choked on his juice, spilling it down his shirt front, "Fertile?"

"Yes, not worth while, as they say in Star Trek, 'resistance is fertile'"

Tony chuckled, "Futile, Ziva, futile, fertile is a whole new game with a different set of balls ….if you uh…pardon the expression"

Ziva shrugged her shoulders and growled.

In the training centre, McGee was deep in conversation with Baxter about where he had gone to school and how he had arrived at NCIS. Jimmy was listening intently and nodding in all the right places and Baxter was pleased to be able to have the chance to relax with two of the more compliant team members.

"So listen Tim, can I call you Tim? What is it like working with him?" Baxter's voiced trailed to a whisper as he pointed to the vacated chair of Jethro Gibbs.

McGee frowned, "actually it's complex, he's a good boss, except when he's in a bad mood, which is most of the time, but he's always there for you, literally sometimes, sneaking up on you when you least expect it...but on the whole...uh...yeah I think complex pretty much describes working with Agent Gibbs"

Jimmy chuckled, "he is quite a character"

Baxter inhaled deeply, folded his arms, rose to his full height and sucked in his best pout, "if you ask me, the man has a considerable number of learning and development needs and it doesn't take a skills gap analysis to work that out I'll tell ya"

McGee and Jimmy stared blankly and then made their excuses to go get some coffee and head into their groups to get started on their task.

Fifteen minutes later, both Ducky and Gibbs had arrived back in the room and beckoned Tony and Abby to the corner. Gibbs stood with his coffee in hand and looked at the two young team members with a wry smile,

"Ducky and I have decided that, you two should come up with the list for the 'tight ass' and you DiNozzo are presenting"

Abby crossed her arms defiantly and Tony gasped open-mouthed,

"Gibbs! That's not fair, we are supposed to be working together on this!" Abby protested,

"We are working together Abbs, Ducky and I are telling you two what to do and you are doing it"

Ducky chuckled and tipped Tony's chin, "close your mouth Anthony, else you'll capture some flies in there dear boy"

As Ducky and Gibbs made for their seats, Ducky rubbed his brow, "These things are a terrible bore don't you think Jethro?"

"Ya' think" Gibbs grinned.

"I'm afraid I'm not thus inspired by Mr Murray and have not heard anything that would help me deal more effectively with Mr Palmer"

"All Jimmy needs is a little encouragement Duck" Gibbs smiled.

"I don't think his head could take that sort of encouragement Jethro, Jimmy is...how can I put it...has a somewhat delicate disposition, I'd be afraid that I might render severe cranial damage with the amount of encouraging I'd have to do"

"Well you could always try an alternative method"

"Jethro?" Ducky asked inquisitively

Gibbs gave a small chuckle before he leaned over and whispered quietly, "It's called the Timberland Collision Motivation Method"

Ducky frowned in confusion and then had the moment of clarity, before he and Gibbs both voiced the explanation as they laughed,

"...stick a boot so far up his...yeah..."

Meanwhile, pacing the corridor, Abby began to fret about what to do next and she looked pleadingly at Tony for inspiration.

"This is a job for McGeek" he smiled as he shouldered her towards the adjacent room.

"Oooooh Prooooobie!" Tony called out, as he popped his head through the door, "can we see what you've come up with?"

McGee stood with marker in hand and pointed it forcefully at Tony, "No way! Come up with your own list, Ziva and Jimmy and I are doing just fine here"

Abby forced her head under Tony's arm, "Please McGee, I'll make it worth your while, I got new batteries yesterday and it means we'll get it done a lot faster and then we can get out of this hell!"

McGee's eyes glistened at the thought of Abby making it worth his while and was quick to respond, "In that case, no problem, let's half our list"

Within the space of five minutes, both teams had three points each to talk about and Tony and Ziva were ready to deliver their presentation. Baxter wandered the corridors and clapped his hands urging everyone back to the training centre,

"Time people! I know you could spend hours discussing this, but we have to stop those creative juices and speed on! Come along now, you all seem to have done a good job. Great work guys, I'm so impressed with you. Good job!"

As the team settled back into their seats Baxter took centre stage, "Ok, who would like to go first?"

Gibbs stared hard at Baxter, making him squirm, "Tony will go first" he said firmly.

Tony huffed and was about to protest when the look from Gibbs signalled that he was about to use his notebook for something other than taking notes. Standing up, he pinned the flip-pad sheet of notes onto the stand and began to waffle,

"Uh…communication, in a kind of two-way sorta,…thing…and uhm…honesty…always good….unless your really, really bad…ahem….and uhm…fairness….treating everyone the same …especially …Probies"

Tony sniggered and shot Tim a look. Baxter stood with his hand on his chin, staring with disbelief at Tony and then clapped his hands and ushered Tony back to his seat,

"Thank you Tony, well done and good job to your group for such an interesting set of….ideas and uhm…concepts, can you give me an example of where you've had to be honest?"

Tony sat down in his new seat away out of arms length of Gibbs and his notebook and coughed to clear his throat. He bit his bottom lip and then beamed,

"Yeah...I was dating this girl last week and afterwards...you know...she asked...you know...about..uhm...let's just say she wanted a full and frank appraisal and so I..."

"Ziva!" Gibbs snapped and then nodded in Tony's direction.

"OW!" Tony yelped as Ziva whacked him upside the head,

"Hey! That's not fair!" he whined as he rubbed his head.

"I'm only following orders" Ziva replied with a coy smile,

"Yeah, that's what the Nazi's said at Goethenburg"

Ducky raised his hand immediately, "actually Tony, it was Nuremburg, which in it's day was a quaint little..."

"PEOPLE! PLEASE!" Baxter yelled bringing an unexpected silence to the room.

"Can we continue, please...focus...people...please."

Baxter took another deep breath, "Could the next group go ahead now...please"

Ziva set up her paper next and stood with her hands on her hips, she took a deep breath,

"you can all read, any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads and she sat down.

Baxter rubbed his brow, "Thank you Ziva" and then quickly proceeded to issue a handout to everyone which contained several pages on the importance of appraisals and NCIS regulations on how they should be conducted.

Looking at his workshop schedule, Baxter Murray paled visibly as he re-read the title of the next session hoping that the more he read, the more it would transform into something, no anything, else.

Session 4 – Appraisals in Action – Purpose – to develop the participants skills in delivering and engaging in appraisals through the medium of role-play.


	5. A Practical Approach to Appraisals

_A/N I've tried to incorporate some of the suggestions I have recieved in this chapter. I apologise if this is rather long, I wanted to give each of the characters (apart from the 'autopsy gremlin') the chance to shine in their roleplays. Keep the reviews coming...please!!!!_

* * *

Baxter Murray paced the corridor and whispered into his cell phone, "I'm telling you Carlos, they are crazy, there is no way I can go on with this!"

He stopped and slumped against the wall, closed his eyes and put his hand to his brow, "Yes, I remember all of the techniques, yes, yes, I know it will soon be over...ok...ok...bye"

Snapping his cell phone shut, he steeled himself before entering the room, "Heading towards the final hurdle people, let's focus on the job in hand and let's get you practicing your appraisal techniques"

He arranged a fresh sheet of paper on the flip chart and wrote at the top of the page, ROLEPLAY GROUPS.

The team groaned and Jimmy paled significantly, "Uh...Dr Mallard, I really don't feel too good, would you mind if I excused myself "

Ducky stared annoyingly at Jimmy, "If you must Mr Palmer, why don't you get some fresh air"

Jimmy stood up quickly and then exited the door, mumbling apologies to Baxter en route, who placed his hands on his hips and sucked in his cheeks.

"Well, I had hoped to join you in your activity people, but Jimmy's absence has caused a slight change in dynamics...now let me see"

He stood with his notes in hand and began to write up on the flip chart.

DUCKY & ABBY – SCENARIO 1

TIM & ZIVA – SCENARIO 2

TONY & AGENT GIBBS – SCENARIO 3

As the final touches were made to the list, Tony grimaced and couldn't help but whine.

"You gotta problem there DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked firmly,

"Uh...no boss!...just getting into character...you know...improvisation...kinda stuff"

Baxter asked them to move their chairs around so that they were seated in their pairs. He then issued each pair with their scenario brief. As they read quietly there was a ripple of groans and sharp intake of breaths.

"Ok people, I want you to take time to prepare your roleplay, decide who is taking which character and then do some practicing before you do this up front for your co-workers. You have fifteen minutes to prepare guys...let out the Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts within you and get into character...feel the scene guys, get into your zone!"

Recognising that the team were ignoring his every word, Baxter retreated behind the flipchart and began banging his head softly on the metal stand. He whispered his mantra learned at his Training for Trainers school,

"I'm helping them to do things differently; I'm helping them to do different things. I will do this and I can do this"

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the first group and placed a hand on Abby's shoulder. She looked up at him with a sympathetic smile,

"We are doing fine Baxter, we've got it all sorted"

Ducky shuffled in his chair, "yes young man, we are already in the 'zone' as you put it, I must say I am no stranger to improvisation and acting. At Eton I did have the unfortunate role of Juliet in the Shakespeare classic. Most people said I was rather dashing in the role, but the worst thing about it, was that I did have to play opposite a somewhat dull and boring young man who had this habit of..."

"I really must see how the other groups are getting along" Baxter interrupted expertly.

As he turned, his eyes glistened at the sight of Director Shepherd entering the training centre. She nodded in his direction and scanned the room, glad to see that there were no blood spatters and that everyone seemed to be deep in conversation.

"Director Shepherd, you are right on cue, thank you so much for agreeing to do this. I have not had the time to brief Agent Gibbs, but I was...uhm...rather hoping that you could do that for me. I have the scenario brief for you right here"

Jen took the piece of paper from Baxter and quickly read it's contents, nodding as she scanned it, "and how have your students been Mr Murray?"

Baxter rubbed his brow, "they have been a challenge Director, but nothing I couldn't handle"

Jen smiled wryly and walked across to Gibbs and Tony who was gibbering and complaining,

"Come on Gibbs, if we swap roles, we can make this easy, this is gonna be way too difficult"

"No one said that training was easy DiNozzo, we are doing it this way, now start preparing what you are gonna say" Gibbs snapped.

Tony nodded in defeat and then smiled in Jen's direction. She placed her hand on Gibbs shoulder,

"Can I have a word Jethro?"

In the corridor Jen explained Baxter's idea to have the NCIS management team perform a text book appraisal roleplay. Gibbs frowned and sighed heavily, "Jen, this morning has been hell, do we have to do this?"

"Are you not taking your leadership responsibilities seriously Agent Gibbs?" she teased.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, "that...is not..fair"

"Come on Jethro, it's a two minute roleplay, where's that Marine Corps spirit huh?"

"I joined the Corps Jen, not Broadway!" he snapped.

As she led the way back into the room, Gibbs snatched the briefing paper she held out to him and returned to his seat.

Baxter clapped his hands, "Time's up people, let's get this show on the road" he chuckled, "Ok, which group would like to go first?"

There was silence. He decided to start easy, "Duck and Abby would you like to go first?"

He helped get a desk and two chairs set up at the front of the room. Ducky and Abby sat at opposite ends.

"Ok, what was your scenario Ducky?"

"I'm playing the supervisor who has to confront Abby about her consistent failure to hand in her reports on time"

Abby beamed and took a deep breath,

Baxter placed his hands together and whispered quietly, "Ok, people, when you are ready"

Ducky began gently, "my dear, I've called this meeting because you are not managing to meet the deadlines we agreed for your reports...I'm afraid it is getting rather unacceptable and we really should do something about it"

Abby rose from her seat and put her arms around Ducky and nestled her head in his shoulder, "I'm so, so sorry Ducky, it won't happen again"

Ducky held her securely and patted her back gently, "there, there my dear, not to worry, it's all sorted, I know you will do your best in future"

As they continued to embrace, they began to rock from side to side and after a few moments they broke their hug and Ducky smiled sweetly, "feel better?"

Abby nodded and they returned to their seats.

Tony led the way in a round of applause, "man that was so sweet, I can feel a lump in my throat"

"If you don't quit clapping like a seal, you'll feel a lump in your head" Gibbs growled as he glared at him.

Tony stopped immediately and slid down in his seat, trying to move as far away from him as he possibly could.

Baxter frowned, "well, that was a somewhat...unusual take on that scenario...but there was communication and agreement...so...well done you guys!"

Abby and Ducky beamed with pride and gave a small bow to the rest of the team before returning to their seats. McGee and Ziva were then invited to take centre stage and to explain their scenario. McGee cleared his throat,

"Our scenario is...uhm...I'm playing the Ziva's boss and we are discussing inappropriate dress within the office"

Once more, Baxter joined his hands and whispered quietly, "Take it away guys... when you are ready"

"Ok, Ziva, I've asked you here today to discuss the NCIS dress code policy. As you can see I have a copy of the regulations right here and I've also highlighted in orange the section where I think you are in violation. Now, the purpose of our conversation today is to find out if you were aware that you were in violation of the policy and uhm…when you will start…not violating…it"

Ziva unfolded her arms and sat up in her chair and leaned over the table, precariously invading McGee's space, "where is your evidence?" she asked, pouting her lips.

"My uhm…evidence…well…uhm…that bb..blouse you were wearing last week was uhm…pretty revealing…and according to the regulations…it didn't fit….when I say didn't fit, I'm not saying that it didn't fit you…it quite clearly fitted you….but it didn't fit……with the uhm…policy"

Ziva licked her lips and narrowed her eyes slightly and exhaled gently from her mouth into Tim flushed face. He flinched as her hot breath hit his eyes.

"So are you saying that you did not like what you saw...Special….Agent…..McGee"

Tim swallowed hard, "It's uh…not that I didn't like what I saw...it's uh..."

Perspiration began to gather and glisten on McGee's forehead, "...its just that NCIS didn't like it…nn.not that a building or organisation can have an opinion...its just the uh…rules"

"So what would you rather I wore then Timothy...do the regulations stipulate cotton or……..silk or simply nothing……..that contravenes the regulations?"

As he shuddered and gulped, his mouth dried up, "Uhm, nothing….uh..no…urgh…I don't know….ok! ok!...can we stop this now…Baxter…help!!"

Ziva sniggered softly at McGee's red and sweaty face. In their chairs the team sat with silent grins and when it was clear the roleplay had finished Abby began to clap and whoop,

"you go for it Ziva…down with dress codes"

Tony sniggered, "Down with dresses..rowr" he muttered softly and gave a sideway's glance to make sure that Gibb's hadn't heard him.

Baxter fanned himself with a sheet of paper and continued to stare hypnotically at Ziva, totally oblivious to all of the eyes that were now on him and waiting for their next move.

Gibbs took the initiative, "Hey! Murray!" he yelled throwing a crumpled piece of paper at him, hitting him square in the face.

"Waahh!" he spluttered coming quickly out of his daze.

He snatched a quick glare at Gibbs and then took a breath, "very well done you guys, that again was an interesting interpretation. Agent McGee I think you set the scene and the issue really well here and Ziva, perhaps you could be a little more constructive in your probing of the problem when you are faced with a similar situation in the future honey"

Ziva sat up in her chair, "That is not going to happen! If McGee should question what I am wearing there will definitely not be any probing, of any kind occurring"

McGee coughed nervously and returned to his seat, flushed and exhausted. Baxter closed his eyes momentarily and smiled falsely,

"Well that only leaves Agent Gibbs and Tony for their role-play, gentlemen if you would like to get into position, you can start whenever you are ready"

Gibbs sat down and Tony chose to stand as he explained their scenario,

"I'm playing Gibb's supervisor and the scenario we are tackling is his persistent personal phone calls during work time"

There was a gasp from the rest of the team and Ducky put a hand over his face to shield most of his vision and winced as he gently whispered "Oh God, poor Anthony".

"Ok! Brad Pitt and George Clooney gear up and whenever you are ready, take it away" Baxter prompted.

Tony stood holding on to the back of the chair for a moment before he continued. Gibbs simply stared straight ahead expressionless.

"Agent Gibbs, you've been having too many personal phone calls lately, and it's affecting your work, it has to stop, right now!" Tony barked, "you are getting distracted all of the time and that is totally and utterly unacceptable"

Gibbs continued to stare straight ahead, "how did you know the phone calls were personal?"

Tony folded his arms and pouted trying to appear firmly in control, "well I overheard you talking about your weekend and that couldn't have been about work, so that's how"

Gibbs continued in a creepily even tone, his eyes never moving from Tony's face,

"So if this is a consistent problem how else do you know that my other calls were personal? Did you tap my phone? Did you have a court order to do so? Did you realise that you were violating my human rights if you were not in possession of such an order from the court? Did you really have due cause to investigate what the phone calls were for? How many phone calls are we talking about here? How long have you been monitoring me? Why wasn't I told about this earlier? Where are the regulations on NCIS policy on personal phone calls?"

Tony's mouth flapped as he tried to respond to the quick fire interrogation style questions responses from Gibbs. Exasperated and he always did with McGee when he couldn't get a word in, he instinctively raised his hand in the direction of Gibbs head to silence him.

In a flash Gibbs grabbed Tony by the throat and pinned him to the table, "Not a good idea DiNozzo…now…you still gotta problem with my phone calls?"

Tony hacked and spluttered under Gibbs uncomfortable but not painful grip, "nnn…no problem"

Gibbs smirked and then nodded and helped him up from the desk, "ok then, I gotta get back to work 'boss', you wouldn't want me missing my deadlines would you?"

Tony rubbed his throat and winced, "Uh…no…carry on…Agent Gibbs"

Baxter peered from behind the flipchart where he retreated to when Gibbs had pinned Tony to the desk,

"Tony, perhaps you need to work on how you respond to uh…difficult situations and take a look at the section on getting the facts before you confront your employees….and uh….Agent Gibbs..."

Gibbs raised his eyebrow and eyeballed Baxter as he continued, "...that was a unique approach, perhaps you could be a little more gentle with your supervisor in a real live situation?"

"Wouldn't bank on it" Tony croaked quietly as he shuffled back to his seat.

Jen smirked at Gibbs as he sat down and shook her head disapprovingly, "really Jethro" she whispered.

Baxter stood at the front of the room and thanked everyone for their performances and their obvious hard work. He then introduced the Director and explained that the final role-play would involve both her and Agent Gibbs representing the NCIS management team. They would demonstrate an effective appraisal and he encouraged them to watch closely for the techniques they had discussed during the earlier sessions,

"The scenario which they have involves Agent Gibbs playing the employee and the Director his supervisor who will be confronting him about his persistent late coming"

Nodding in Jen's direction, he prompted for the role-play to begin.

Standing opposite one another, Jen folded her arms and fought to maintain a stern face in front of Jethro's cold blue eyes. He stood arms at his side, with a slight grin on his face and stared unwaveringly. Jen finally broke the painful silence,

"That's the third time this week you've been late Jethro!" she smiled wryly.

"Uh..hu"

Totally unexpectedly Jen quickly raised her hand and whacked the side of Gibbs head with a resounding THWACK!

Gibbs automatic instinct to stop the attack failed and he missed deflecting her hand by millimetres. Instead his head jerked to the side and he took a few moments to bring his head to its original position and then began blinking furiously.

"Get an alarm clock Agent Gibbs" Jen snapped with delight.

The team gasped open mouthed and the only sound which could be heard was of Baxter Murray dancing with delight clapping his hands and squealing,

"Yay….you go girl!"

A quick death stare from Gibbs in his direction snapped his mouth shut.

Gibbs turned to face the Director and twisted his neck slightly, "I will be on time tomorrow….Madam Director…you have my word"

Jen smirked, acknowledging his use of the banned 'Madam' word and turned to face the rest of the team giving a small, but visible, bow.

Baxter started a weak round of applause and ushered them both back to their seats. The faint clapping drowned out the whispered chorus of "she is so dead" and "did I just see what I thought I saw" and "prepare for blood in the bullpen".

Gibbs stared at the ashen faces of his team and then to Jen who sat casually beside him, still beaming from doing what she had wanted to do for a long, long time.

As Baxter went on to summarise the key techniques of appraisal Gibbs leaned over and whispered gently in Jen's ear, "One word Director….retribution"

The team did not fail to see the Director gulp, her face pale significantly and her eyes widen.

Meanwhile, Baxter Murray gave a huge sigh of relief and turned to the last page in his course notes and thought to himself, "action planning….nothing can go wrong here…..can it?"


	6. Action Planning and Evaluation

_A/N Thanks to all reviewers. I'd like to dedicate this story to all Human Resource professionals, particularly those working in Training and Development, who will never, ever admit that there's a little bit of a 'Baxter' in all of them!!_

* * *

"Psst!...Probie!" Tony muttered as quietly as he could through the corner of his mouth.

Eventually catching his attention, Tim responded by raising an eyebrow. Tony mouthed silently, "Zeeeee….vaaaaah" and then pursed his lips in an exagerrated kiss and then winked. McGee blushed instantly, coughed nervously and shifted slightly in his chair to avoid eye contact with Tony.

As Baxter droned on and on, recapping and summarising, Tony scanned the room and his eyes met with Jimmy Palmer who smiled slightly. Tony responded by crossing his eyes and pulling the corners of his mouth down, making Jimmy giggle.

Ducky leaned over, "Is there something wrong with you again Mr Palmer? Don't tell me you are feeling poorly again?"

"Uh…no Doctor…I'm fine…I think" Jimmy beamed, strongly resisting the urge to look back at Tony who was now staring ahead stone-faced.

Abby was Tony's next target and he quickly scribbled a drawing of a hangman's noose and a drawing of Baxter's face in it., with a speech bubble saying, "focus people". After five minutes of constant eye contact, he eventually caught her attention and as soon as Baxter turned to write on the flipchart he turned his notepad towards her and beamed wickedly. Abby began to snigger and Jimmy caught sight of the drawing and immediately started to chuckle quietly.

As Tony struggled to stifle his laugh, he missed the fact that Gibbs had risen from his chair. He gripped Tony's arm and led him quickly to the door.

"Excuse us for one minute" Gibbs snapped at Baxter, who, oblivious to what had been happening, stood frozen to the spot and simply nodded an acknowledgement.

In the corridor Gibbs spun Tony round and let loose with a hard whack across the side of his head.

"Yeeooww!!!….Boss! Now that really did hurt" his face contorted and he furiously blinked his eyes. He gulped as Gibbs cold eyes did their usual magic,

"I do not like having to sit through this fiasco any more than you do DiNozzo, but when you are in that training centre you are representing my team, and right now my team looks more like a kindergarten than a room full of Federal Agents! Now you cut the crap, get your ass back in that room and suck it up for the next fifteen minutes till we are cut loose from this. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal clear boss" Tony responded quickly and then sheepishly followed Gibbs back into the room, grimacing and rubbing his head. No-one was in any doubt what had taken place outside as Tony's squeal had been heard from the corridor. As he returned to his seat, Tony sat still and folded his arms and kept his head down until Baxter spoke,

"So, people, I'll give you out this paper with the key questions which will form the basis of your action plan, if you could work individually on this for the next five minutes, we will then share some of your thoughts on what you have learned this morning and what you will use in the future"

There was silence as paperwork was handed out and during the following five minutes as the team scribbled away. Baxter interrupted the silence,

"Ok, guys, for this final part of the workshop I'd like you to share some of your reflections on what we have covered today and with your permission for you to reveal something from your action plan which perhaps the others might find useful to also consider"

Through deep sighs and stifled yawns, he continued,

"So if we could start from this side of the room, Abby, could you perhaps tell us about your action plan? What will you do differently the next time honey?"

Abby stood up and scanned her notes, "I think the next time I'm going to have an appraisal, I'm going to wear purple. There have been lots of studies and experiments and stuff and they've all come up with the same conclusion that purple is the most calming color. So that will help me and Gibbs calm down…..wow! I've just realised that I have this really cool dress with cute little black diamonds on it….I could keep that good just for appraisal days….note to self, must try on purple diamond dress tonight to see what shoes match...ah yes, perhaps the pink boots, they might be ok….McGee likes them too….kill two birds with one stone huh….keep Gibbs calm and Timmy happy"

Abby beamed and sat down. Baxter took a few seconds before responding, his brain quickly trying to find an encouraging response,

"Thank you Abby, that was very insightful. Although we did not cover body language and dress in an appraisal situation, setting the right tone is quite important….uh….Ducky would you like to go next and briefly share a reflection with us"

Ducky frowned and removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose,

"I'm afraid I'm still trying to determine what I can successfully do differently in the future, contrary to how I deal with things currently. Young man, I'm dreadfully sorry, but I really do have nothing to contribute"

Baxter frowned in dismay, "You don't?"

Ducky shook his head and Baxter, confused, but relieved that he would not have to experience another drawn out conversation turned his attention to Jimmy, before Ducky changed his mind,

"Jimmy, what about you?"

"I think next time; I'll take some stomach pills in advance. These kinda things always make me a little nervous; I guess that's what I'd do…differently"

Ducky pursed his lips, "you and I will have to seriously discuss the impact of your constant abdominal issues later Mr Palmer, perhaps the time has come for you to have a complete physical"

Jimmy paled and began to open his mouth, but was unable to form any coherent speech and so simply slumped in his chair.

"Ok, who would like to go next?"

"MaaaGeeee" Tony feigned a cough rather loudly.

"Special Agent McGee….Tim….Timothy…..would you care to share?" Baxter smiled sweetly at his new found friend.

"Uh…next time in an appraisal I'll be more prepared…with uhm….facts and evidence…those sorts of things"

Baxter placed his hands on his hips, "excellent response….you…boy scout…you"

As each member of the team raised their eyebrows, Baxter blushed a little and then turned to make eye contact with Tony.

"Tony, you're turn"

"My action plan for appraisals would involve doing exactly what I'm told, when I'm told and paying very close attention to the job in hand"

As he stared straight ahead he swallowed hard and then gave a quick sideways glance at Gibbs who had begun smirking softly.

"Admiral traits Tony, good job…..Ziva….anything you would like to share?"

Ziva inspected her finger nails and pouted, "I must admit I prefer the way the Mossad handles appraisals, this way is not the way we would deal with people who are incontinent"

There was a ripple of sniggers round the room. Baxter furiously tried to remain stone-faced, "How does the Mossad deal with people who are….incompetent?"

"We shoot them"

Baxter's eyes widened, "a unique and somewhat radical approach I'm sure, I take it the Mossad don't do the whole employee development ethos well then?"

"On the contrary, the Mossad take training very seriously, there is a 100 percent pass rate in all of our courses and workshops……admittedly we do terminate those who fail to meet the standard, but our trainees are the best"

"I'm beginning to like the Mossad" Gibbs said quietly as he glared at Tony.

"So is there anything that you found useful from today Ziva?" Baxter added.

Ziva shook her head. Baxter responded by sighing and cupping his hands in his face, "I'm sorry Ziva, perhaps, if you take another look at your workshop notes when you go back to your desk, there might just be something in there that you find useful"

Baxter swallowed hard and found it difficult to make eye contact with Gibbs, "Agent Gibbs, what about you? What did you find useful about today?"

Through the silence, Baxter wilted under the deathly eye contact, "Ooo…kay….I gotcha!" he said quietly before turning to his course notes.

"Ok, people that concludes our workshop. I'd like to thank you all very much for your time this morning and for your participation. It's been my pleasure to have facilitated this learning experience for you. Now remember, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to give me a call, you'll find my number on the Human Resources page on the NCIS internal website"

The training centre cleared in less than five seconds. With the exception of Gibbs, who headed straight for the Directors Office, the team returned to their desks, grateful to be eventually released.

Baxter Murray sat and stared at the empty training centre and resolved to phone his Uncle Harry at the weekend, to see if he needed help at the Boutique.

Gibbs strode purposefully towards the Directors door and was stopped in his tracks as Cynthia struggled hard to retain her giggles,

"I would NOT….go there….if I were you" Gibbs said firmly as he frowned at her sternly.

Cynthia's face fell and she spluttered her reply, "She is …expecting….you…Agent Gibbs"

Gibbs barged through the door and took up position in front of the desk,

"Agent Gibbs, I assume that the Workshop is over, you must be pleased!"

Jenny smiled wryly glowing in the memory of her role-play session as she rose from her seat, walked around her desk and sat casually on the edge. Her smile suddenly faded and she furrowed her brow as Gibbs stern face quickly reminded her of his warning before she had left the training centre.

"I've been doing some thinking Director, and it's clear from this morning that my reflexes just aint what they used to be, hell, normally I would have been able to have seen that head slap of yours coming, so there's obviously a problem to be sorted"

Jenny glared suspiciously at him,

"So as my supervisor, I know that you will want to monitor my progress back to 100 percent performance, which is why, you and I are going to spend the next two weeks at the gym after work"

She paled visibly.

"Now if you are half the boss I think you are, you'll be like me and wouldn't dream of asking me to do anything that you wouldn't do yourself. So I know you'll be right with me every step of the way, until we've completed every push up and pull up in my PT program to get me back into top shape"

"But…." she gasped struggling to find the words to protest.

Gibbs placed his finger lightly on her lips, "Come on Jen, weren't you the one who was telling me earlier about taking leadership responsibilities seriously?"

Jen groaned realising that there was nothing that she could say or do to get the better of the grouchy team leader.

"I'm assuming that this is what you meant by retribution Jethro?"

"No Director, this is what you call good performance management" Gibbs smiled as he spun around quickly and left the room.

From the open door he barked again, "1900 hours and perhaps you should bring Cynthia along….think of it as a personal development opportunity!"

**3 months later...**

Gibbs growled as he read and re-read the email.

_'All NCIS employees are required to attend a three hour workshop on dealing with poor performance with reference to our revised policy on handling issues of discipline and grievance. The workshop will be facilitated by the newly promoted Deputy Head of Employee Development, Mr Baxter Murray and his team"_

Gibbs narrowed his eyes, frowned, promptly hit the delete key and whispered quietly, "I think not…people!"

* * *


End file.
